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She's internally dyin...

I know this isn't what loves about

baby wont you rain on me </3
([ introducing misS siin ])

__@!* this is the story of a girl
› goes by the name of zel. nineteen years old aries. reppin the bay area 707. wify'ed up & happy ♥. enjoys photography, enjoying the simple things in life, taking every bad thing that happens as an experience, chillen, sims, ddr, shopping, writing, graphic/web design, kickin it with friends, and a bunch of other things lol. finally graduated high school ( Peoples High School c/o 2004 ) & gettin her shit done =)

__@!* dont take it personal
› she's shy when you first meet her, but once she gets comfortable with you around she'll show you her hyped up crazy side. she's emotional, but tries to hide it with being independent. she's learned the only person you can trust is yourself and to not depend on other people for anything. she's lived her life feeling neglected and second best with everyone, especially her family. that might explain why she sometimes expects her friends to show her love when she needs it the most. she has serious anger issues and if she hates you she let it be known. despite all of that, she's there when you need her whenever you need her and she comes thru when she says she will. but dont take her for granted... she loves self expression, deep conversations and music.

__@!* could i be falling for you
Why do we close our eyes when we sleep? When we cry? When we imagine? When we kiss? This is because the most beautiful thing in the world is unseen. We are all a little weird and life's a little weird and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. There are things that we never want to let go of , people we never want to leave behind, but keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world, it's the beginning of a new life. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have and those who have tried. For only they can appreciate the importance of the people who have touched their lives. A great love? It's when you shed tears and still you care for him, it's when he ignores you and still you long for him. It's when he begins to love another and yet you still smile and say I'm happy for you. If love fails, set yourself free, let your heart spread its wings and fly again. Remember you may find love and lose it, but when love dies, you never have to die with it. The strongest people are not those who always win but those who stand back up when they fall. Somehow along the course of life, you learn about yourself and realize there should never be regrets, only a lifelong appreciation of the things you've made. A true friend understands when you say, I forgot, waits forever when you say, just a minute, stays when you say leave me alone, opens the door even you close it. Loving is not how you forget but how you forgive, not how you listen but how you understand, not what you see but how you feel, and not how you let go but how you hold on. It's more dangerous to weep inwardly rather than outwardly. Outward tears can be wiped away while secret tears scar forever. In love, very rarely do we win but when love is true, even if you lose, you still win just for having the tingle of loving someone more than you love yourself. There comes a time when we have to stop loving someone not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that they'd happier if we let go. If you really love someone never let go, don't believe that letting go means that you love best, instead fight for your love, that's what true love is. It's best to wait for the one you want than settle for one that's available. Best to wait for the one you love than one who is around. Best to wait for the right one because life is too short to waste on just someone. Sometimes the one you love turns out to be the one who hurts you the most, a sometimes the friend who takes you into his arms and cries when you cry turns out to be the love you never knew you wanted<3

__@!* i'm moving on..
› as you can see on the main page this journal is shut down due to reason's that may be pretty fuckin obvious if you know me THAT well ( and if you don't i suggest you keep your fuckin comments to your fuckin selves ). I do in fact have a new LJ. If in fact you DO find it and you DO add me, that doesn't mean I'm going to add you back. Good luck with that shit.

__@!* dont take offense
› info has been updated a bit. needs more updating. bleh so lazy lol
021503 // retouched 082003 // retouched 071104