baby wont you rain on me </3 (insanex29) wrote,
baby wont you rain on me </3

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would i be out of line if i said i miss you?

i've had this journal for so long, its a shame i dont update it anymore :( i remember i stopped updating this one & made my new one cause my dumb exboyfriend didn't like my username since it had something to do with my "first love". i wonder the same thing Martin ask's me everytime I bitch about Jeff "why'd you stay with someone for so long if they made you unhappy?" I don't know how I did it, or why.. I guess I was more scared then anything. Scared he'd kill me, he'd kill himself & I'd have to live with the guilt that it was my fault he died. It was a crazy six months.. crazy in a horrible way. Maybe if I push it to the back of my mind long enough, the whole thing will be forgotten.. that'd be great :)

I've been trippin out lately.. for some reason it pisses me off when Martin plays Smash around me. I mean it didn't use to bother me, I dunno why lately it has.. I guess because I'm craving more attention from him now then I did before. It sucks how the harder you fall in love, the more you expect from them. Its bad for your health to expect. I don't wanna up and leave everytime he decides to play Smash with his boys hella pissed off. I want shit to be the way they use to be when everything was a joke, when we thought we'd never get mad at eachother.. when things were PERFECT. ::sigh::
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